December 2003
Parents and Meetings
As we approach the holiday season, may the colder days of winter bring a twinkle to your eyes and briskness to your steps. May they invigorate us all and bring our work together to new levels of success and satisfaction.
A hallmark of PDS has
always been our commitment to collaboration. As members of a community of
learners with a particular penchant for dialogue, sharing ideas and perceptions
with each other is essential. PDS schedules a number of meetings to provide
parents with information about our programs and to elicit your questions and
concerns. Unfortunately, most of these meetings are very poorly attended. We
know that you lead busy lives and at this time of the year your energies
understandably may be directed elsewhere. But to the teachers and administrators
who genuinely care about your children and spend a good deal of time planning
these events, your absence is both disappointing and disheartening.
Most recently, the lower school faculty carefully prepared a workshop for
parents entitled Writing Through the Grades and Across the Curriculum. The
teachers’ descriptions and analyses were illustrated by a PowerPoint
presentation of children’s writing. The teachers had worked hard on preparing
the material. As they showed various examples, they spoke eloquently about what
each piece revealed about the child’s developmental status and skill level. They
talked about the clues that the children gave that directed the next steps in
teaching and learning. I’ve been a teacher for more years than I care to
remember, and I’ve read the literature on child development and developing
literacy. Nonetheless, I came away from the evening with new insights and
understandings. It was fantastic! There were only five parents in the audience.
There are 114 students in our lower school.
Early in the school year a different group of teachers and administrators planned an evening for eleventh and twelfth-grade students and parents to explain the complex process of applying to colleges and universities. They spoke of the ways this process has changed in recent years, particularly the effect of constantly increasing competition. They described what admission officers look for in candidates and how students can best present themselves to the schools in which they are interested. They laid out the timeline for tasks that need to be completed and described the ways in which they are here to help. The presentation was informal but very informative. Only six families attended yet there are 45 students in our eleventh and twelfth grades.
As a final example, I have held a series of meetings or “road-shows” in the homes of PDS families in different communities to talk about PDS and the things that are important to all of us in shaping its future. Each evening’s conversation has been interesting in its own way. I have come away from them with increased understanding of the values and concerns of the many segments of our overall community, and, hopefully, a better understanding of how to integrate these things. Typically, no more than 15-20 people are present at each meeting and we have had six so far. There are 350 students at PDS.
These are not unusual situations. To inform you of the meetings, we have written to you, posted descriptions and dates both on the school Web site and on the doors of our buildings, sent notices home via backpack express, and sometimes asked parent reps to telephone you. Still attendance is sparse.
It is sad to think that perhaps you feel that these types of activities are not important. It is even more upsetting when, despite all of our attempts to provide opportunities for dialogue, we hear laments that communication at PDS is poor, or receive reports of parking-lot conversations that reveal genuine misunderstandings of the program and of what we do. For teachers, in particular, it is difficult not to become discouraged.
As a parent, I clearly remember the challenges of balancing the demands of raising three children with those of a difficult job. Traveling to Rhinebeck and New Paltz and Carmel and other communities for the “road shows” has given me a special appreciation for the commitment you make to PDS every day, despite significant geographical distance.
However, we, too, are
going the distance, if you will, of attempting to communicate with you on a
number of levels. But communication goes two ways. Those of us in school must
share with you what we are trying to do and how we are trying to do it. You, in
turn, must communicate with us what you perceive to be both our strengths and
our shortcomings. We need to be sure that the two are in harmony.
Sometimes things happen that you do not know about or understand becausethey do
not yet relate directly to your own child.
Sometimes you are concerned about things that we don’t fully appreciate or perhaps loose sight of.
There are many important things to talk about together, but we can’t do it if we don’t get together! We have to be in the same room and engage in authentic conversations if we are to serve our children--and PDS as a whole--well.
If our presentations and discussion meetings do not address the things that concern you, please let us know. What would you like to talk about? Surely we can blend our agendas into meaningful dialogue. But, at the same time, we don’t want to get into the business of creating a whole new set of individual meetings for all of those parents unable to attend the ones that we had already determined were important enough to be scheduled!
Please think about this when you receive your next notice of a meeting at school. You need to be there. We need for you to be there.
Thanks for listening. Please let me know your thoughts. Here’s to working on this and more in the new year!
Happy holidays,
Mary Jane